The Inverse Agenda
by Shinigami no Seishi
Summary: Slayers In SPACE! …And no, it’s NOT Lost Universe
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: All aspects, situations and persona from the _Slayers_ universe belongs to Hajime Kanzaka and associated parties. They were taken and used without knowledge or permission of their respective owners. No money exchanged hands during the making of this story. 

WARNINGS: **Very AU**, sexual situations, language, possibly some blood and gore later on. **OOC** Lina, because I've aged her and given her a different past. Random **original characters**, but so far they're just background extras. 

PAIRING: None so far but I intend to play with every pairing implied in the original series (EXTRA WARNING: this means there may be some same-sex pairings later on, but so far, not much in the way of romance of any kind) 

SUMMARY: Slayers In SPACE! …And no, it's NOT _Lost Universe._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I love Lina and I love _Slayers_, but for some reason I can never quite keep her in character, though I try. Also, my writing tends to lean toward serious, so though there are light-hearted moments, there isn't a lot of the physical comedy and ridiculous situations that arise in the original series. Sorry. Also, I wrote the opening scene when I was steeped in _Queer As Folk_, the UK version, and Lina therefore has very strong Stuart overtones. I thought of changing it, but I sort of like her that way. ^_^ 


	2. Chapter 1 Roll Call

THE INVERSE AGENDA 

Episode 1: Roll Call

When Lina Inverse woke up, there was a war going on.

_Between an elephant and a battlecruiser. In my head._

She groaned, and then immediately shut up, the sound rattling against her ears. She wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to roll over, but she knew she didn't want to throw up on her back. Smacking her lips and wiggling her tongue around in her cottoned mouth, she made the effort and ended up on her side, facing a wide pair of blue eyes.

"Captain," a voice from the eyes said. 

When she realized that the eyes were in a face that was attached to a naked young man who was half-hidden among her covers, she retorted, "Who the hell are you?"

"Ensign Rogers, Ma'am."

She searched for a memory to go with the name, and came up with one that was fairly steamy, but also rather fuzzy. "Well get out of my bed. I've got work," she snapped, in no mood to deal with a young chick's "morning after." Fortunately, the boy had been trained to obey orders. He began to move instantly, which made the waterbed do wild wavy things, and her stomach began to churn.

"Wait, wait," she said hastily and he stilled. "Wait 'til I get up." She struggled upright and found she was still wearing her regulation pea green socks. She groped for a shirt—found her dress uniform jacket, decided that was good enough, and put it on. When she stood, though, the world was still undulating like it was envious of Jell-O and the elephant in her head was tap dancing. She pressed her hands to her eyes and made it out of her room without falling over too much.

In the living room, she bumped into a warm object. Taking her hands away from her eyes, she saw a small, plump, large-breasted woman about her own age, who smiled and handed her a glass of water. Then, without a word, she walked past and into the bedroom. Presumably, Lina thought as she watched her leave, to get some pants on.

"You too," she felt compelled to say, though it didn't look as if this particular guest needed to be told. "Out."

Drinking the water and trying to sort out the previous night, she got to her bathroom, only to find it shut and locked.

"Hey!" She pounded on the door, wincing as the sound rattled her skull. "Get out of there, whoever you are! I live here, so I get first dibs!" The door opened to reveal another half-naked somebody—this one _with_ pants—and Lina perused him once, pleased with what she saw until she realized he was smirking like he'd conquered something and was proud enough to gloat.

"Don't think it meant anything," she growled. "You won't get favors or pardons, or a step-up in rank. You probably won't even get a nod in the hallway. In fact, I barely remember you. Now get out of my way, get dressed and get out." She pushed past him and slammed the door, satisfied even though the sound made her wince.

She felt one step closer to human when she came back out. Not anywhere near primate, mind, but at least she had most of her coordination back. 

The door buzzed.

She gabbed some pants, hoping they were hers, and put them on before answering. Her Second stood at the door, fully, and perhaps regrettably, dressed. He gave her a once over and quirked an eyebrow. She opened her mouth, snarky retort ready on her tongue, when a voice from behind interrupted.

"Um…Captain? Have you seen my pants?"

"Should I feel left out?" her Second asked.

"Shut up Greywords and get in here."

Commander Zelgadis Greywords stepped into the room and immediately made his way toward the small kitchenette. Lina herded the young chick back into the bedroom to sort out clothing, leaving Zel with a few moments peace and quiet, except for the occasional thumps and muffled snarls.

"Good morning, Commander," greeted a serene female voice.

Zelgadis concealed his surprise as a plump blond woman drifted past him. "Lieutenant Maris," he returned, thinking _Didn't think she was Lina's type._

He debated saying anything more, perhaps asking what the hell had happened here last night, though he wasn't sure he wanted details, but she smiled and took her leave before he could decide. One door slid shut quietly as another snapped open with a dramatic click.

"Out!" Lina snapped, pushing a slender boy with one hand and dragging another by the wrist.

"Commander!" the blue-eyed ensign squeaked as he was pulled past. The other one was too busy pouting to notice a ranking officer. Zel managed to offer the ensign an apologetic smile before the boy was shoved unceremoniously into the hallway.

Lina expelled an exasperated breath and fell back against the closed door with a look of abject relief.

"Meow?"

"What the—" A green and purple-striped cat twined around her feet, slender antenna bobbing gracefully. "What the hell are you?"

"An Andoris breed by the look," Zel offered, handing her a freshly made mug of coffee.

"Ooh," she cooed. "You're a life saver." And she said it to the cup. 

Lina downed her first coffee of the morning like it was a shot a whiskey. Zel winced, sure she'd burned her tongue and possibly most of her throat. Her head snapped up and she gave a little hiss of satisfaction, a large smile on her face. The bounce was back in her step as she headed back to the kitchen for her second cup.

He followed her. "You were really drunk last night."

"Space," she muttered. "No kidding." She refilled her cup and then dug through her refrigerator as she sipped it. "I never—and make a note of this—I never _ever_ want to be that drunk again."

"Gotcha." Zelgadis made a show of taking out a small electronic notepad and jotting down the reminder. "No more drinking, then."

"Hey, I didn't say I never want to get drunk, I said I wouldn't ever get _that_ drunk again." Lina pulled a bottle of milk out and searched through her cupboards until she came up with a saucer. "Do you know if Andoris breeds drink milk?"

"I don't know."

"Well, what good are you, then?" Pouring the milk in the plate, she made little clicking noises in the back of her throat and the alien cat responded eagerly, rubbing against her legs as she set the dish down. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get too used to it." But she was smiling as she said it, and patted the animal between the shoulder blades. "So," she asked Zelgadis without looking up, "are our orders in, yet? When do we move and where are we going?"

"I don't know." Zel helped himself to an apple from a basket on the coffee table. "But the General wants to talk to you."

Lina choked on her coffee, and barely made it over to the sink in time to spit it out. Then she just sagged over it, coughing.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad."

"You—you don't know my sister," the redhead gasped, groping for a dishrag.

It was true. _No _one really knew the High General of Cephried. She was one of the few ranking officers that Zelgadis feared as much as he respected. She was also part of a very small percentile of people in the known universe that could make Lina Inverse tremble in her boots. No one had ever explained to him about the dynamics between the sisters Inverse and he valued his life, so he'd never asked, but whatever it was, it was enough to keep the famously wild Lina in line, and that was a power Zel hoped he'd never have to contest.

Lina was walking away, looking subdued and pale.

"Captain?" he questioned hesitantly.

"Aspirin," she growled, and shut the bathroom door.

~*~

Lina felt the walk from the door to her sister's desk as if a band playing a funeral dirge were following her. The High General Luna Inverse scrolled through a report like she hadn't heard her sister come in, her glossy black hair reflecting highlights from the computer screen.

Lina stopped in front of her and nodded. "Luna," she said crisply. _ Perfunctory. Professional, _she reminded herself.

Luna tapped a floating key, the pad of her fingertip lighting blue for a moment, and the translucent screen blipped out of the air. "Lina," she said in much the same tone, her dark eyes cool as they fixed on the redhead.

"Uh, yeah," Lina answered back when nothing more seemed forthcoming. She shifted her weight nervously, caught herself doing it, and made herself stop. "So…what do you want? Or, er. What are your orders?"

Luna leaned over and plucked a glowing blue data disk from a pile on her table and opened an uploading slot, sliding it in. Lina's captain's brace beeped on her wrist and blinked an incoming signal, and she hit the button that would allow the transaction.

"We've received a distress signal from XC339," Luna said as Lina waited for the information to finish transferring. "They've never asked for help before, and they haven't sent any details after their initial signal, so the council is worried. We have no one in the area to send—"

"That's because it's in the middle of nowhere!" Lina squawked as a map blipped to life, spreading out in laser lights over her wrist. "That's in the middle of the Dark Zone, edge of the Saillune Empire."

"XC339 is rich in zepherol, and it is one of the oldest members of the voting Federation."

"It hasn't sent a representative in centuries! You get hundreds of these distress signals every day. You _know_ that half of them are faulty wiring on machines that haven't had maintenance since they were installed."

"Nevertheless, it is our duty to protect the assets of the Federation."

"So why me?" Lina knew she sounded petulant and didn't care. More than anything, she hated bogus runs. "Why send me to a distant star because some rats chewed a wire and sent out a blip?"

Luna's eyes narrowed, a clear warning. "We don't know that it's so trivial. There's a very real chance of danger. There have been rumors of pirates in that area."

"Bullshit!" Lina snapped. "My crew has been in the thick of battle since the uprising! O-for-five against those rebel ships so far, and we're just getting started. This is some diplomatic coup and you _know_ I hate that crap. I'd just as soon blow up the damned—"

"_You will,_" Luna said quietly, hands pressing palm down on her desk in preparation to rise, looking as if she'd happily leap over her desk and strangle her sister, "conduct yourself in a manner befitting one of the most decorated officers in this navy. _You will_ go to XC339 like the obedient little captain you are and you will _stay_ there until I can deal with the situation your _idiotic _tongue and _childish_ temper has created between you and Councilman Gercht."

Lina closed her mouth so quickly she nearly bit her tongue.

Luna continued, evenly, almost polite but for the murderous calm in her eyes. "Do you understand?"

"That wasn't my fault," Lina muttered.

"I doubt that." Luna flicked her screen back on. "Dismissed."

"Luna—"

"_Dismissed,_ captain."

Lina turned on her heel, but couldn't help a resentful, "You're supposed to be on _my_ side."

"I am. Now get out."

~*~

Medical Android 09 was lost, and looking for someone who didn't look too intimidating to ask directions. As she passed the same coffee nook for the fourth time, three mechanics in grime-covered jumpsuits finally took notice.

"Hey, sister, you need help?" one asked as he straightened and moved toward her.

She flinched without meaning to, and shuffled back against the nearest wall, shaking her head mutely, looking for any opening to slide away. But they were all ready fanning out to block her escape, trapping her in a semi-circle.

"Hey, what's the matter?" the first one continued. His smile was a little feral, but mostly friendly. "We don't bite."

"Look at that!" another said suddenly, pointing to the 09 tattoo on her forehead. "She's an android."

"No _kidding._"

The four were beginning to blur together. She couldn't tell which one of them reached out to grab her arm and pull her forward. They were all dyed the same oil-black and engine-grunge color, and all she could really see were white teeth in grime-smeared faces.

"You can't even tell. I thought they were supposed to be all… wired, metallic and shit."

She squeaked when one poked her in the ribs.

"L-let me go!" She lashed out blindly, and managed to wrench her arm free.

"Space!" snarled the shortest of the group, hand protectively pressing his cheek. "Her nail _cut_ me."

She tried to dodge past him, but the tallest one caught her and slammed her back against the wall, palm pressing against her chest with enough force to make breathing difficult. His eyes were very blue when he leaned in.

"I rip the guts out of machines ten times more complex than you during my lunch break, sister. _Don't_ piss me off."

09 closed her eyes, and swallowed.

"Oi!" a steely female voice snapped. "What the hell is going on?"

Though the throng of bodies, 09 glimpsed a wiry girl, standing barely as tall as 09's shoulder. The girl had fiery, wild red hair, and a captain's brace—coiled lightwire gleaming faintly, wrapped around her hand and wrist. She stood with hands on her hips, arrogant tilt to her head, and the fire in her eyes made the mechanics shuffle warily. The boldest of them stepped forward and pushed into her personal space.

"Shove off. This isn't any of your concern, girl." He poked a finger at her. She caught his wrist, grinning wolfishly, and he caught sight of her brace. "A captain? Shit, what are you—twelve? Go give that back to your father and—Space!" He tried to tug his hand out of her grip and failed. Her fingers tightened slightly, twisted, and he went down to his knees with a choked yelp.

Letting 09 go, the leader took a threatening step forward, and was immediately bowled over as the girl tossed her captive at him with an almost casual flick of her wrist. Her eyes were manic, and her grin looked more like a baring of teeth. She bounced on the balls of her feet and waited for the other two to come at her but they were too busy helping up their friends.

09 knew that now was the time to run, get away while all the crazy people were distracted with each other. She couldn't believe no one was stopping this. The hallway was wide, and most people seemed intent on moving around them, rather than watching or helping.

"Impossible," the leader gasped as he scrambled to his feet. "What the hell _are_ you?"

"I am Lina Inverse," the girl declared, glee and contempt in her voice. "And I'm in a piss-poor mood, so, really, it's a good thing I ran into you. I wouldn't want to take it out on my crew—oi! Where are you going?"

At her name, they had turned white, and now they were tripping over themselves trying to get away. Lina looked for a moment as if she'd pursue, but finally sighed and relaxed, the manic energy fading away.

"Assholes," the redhead growled to their retreating backs. 

09 bit her lip and tried to make herself small. It was strange, though, to feel intimidated by someone smaller and younger. But… _Lina Inverse._ _This _was Captain Inverse? 09 had heard a lot about this captain—mixed reviews to be sure. Captain Inverse was ruthless and short tempered and sharp tongued, and never took prisoners. Captain Inverse was a menace to all things living, and an absolute impediment to any diplomatic overtures.

The girl turned and eyed the android. Her eyes were strange—deep red, with gold slivers. Her eyes matched her hair. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes."

The red-gold eyes flicked to the tattoo on 09's forehead and away without changing expression. "Where are you headed?"

"Um… Dock D-4.6? I…I've been assigned to a ship." 09 dredged up courage and uncurled from her defensive position, touching the holocard that hung off her neck where her transfer information was stored, sure the small captain would want to look at it. Few people liked androids wandering anywhere without someone's express permission.

"I'm going that way," the girl said, glancing dismissively at the holocard. "Want to come with? My name is Lina, by the way. Lina Inverse. What's yours?" She stuck out her hand.

"I…know who you are." 09 blinked, taken aback, but reached out and shook Lina's hand quickly. "I…I don't have one. I'm an android." She said it a little louder than she meant to, but she wanted the captain to stop being so casual about her presence. No one was ever less than wary of her. It made her nervous that Lina didn't seem to care.

"Yeah?" Lina frowned and flicked a cat hair off her sleeve. "So? Does that mean you don't have one?"

"I…we're given numbers. That's all."

"Doesn't stop you from picking your own. But, now you've lost your chance." Lina grinned. "I'll give you a name."

09 frowned, flustered. "I supposed…"

"It'll be nice." Lina winked. "I promise. The trick is to find the name you already have. Even if you don't know yours anymore, you were born with one. It's around here somewhere. Now, what ship are you going to?"

The captain turned and continued down the hall, and 09 hurried to keep up.

"The _LON_," 09 said. "She's a small battleship."

"I've heard of her. I know the captain."

"Oh. Is he… is he nice?"

"Nope," Lina said cheerfully. "A real bastard, but brilliant. Best captain in the fleet."

09 swallowed nervously, and clenched her hand around her holocard until its edges cut into her palm. Brilliant bastards were the most dangerous type. "Oh."

"Buck up!" Lina clapped 09 on the back hard enough to sting. "You won't die or anything. I mean, aren't you medical 'droids famously difficult to kill?"

09 managed a weak smile, and concentrated on matching strides with her strange escort. Lina walked through the halls with long, eager steps, and she was either very good at picking a clear path through all the bustle, or people were actually getting out of their way. The more 09 became aware of their surroundings, the most she was convinced of the latter.

"Are they… are they all afraid of you?" she asked before she could censure herself.

"Yeah. Don't you know? I'm a menace to society."

09 frowned at the back of Lina's head. She knew the rebel androids were terrified of Captain Inverse because, despite their superior technology and computer-fast tactical minds, Inverse had managed to destroy them and their ships with unnerving ease. It hadn't occurred to her that Lina's own people who be just as wary of her.

They reached the transporter line long before they even got to the transporter room. A long stretch of people carrying various amounts of baggage curled around a corner and out of sight ahead of them. 09 sighed and prepared to wait, but Lina was stepping around them and continuing on, ignoring the glares and grumbles that never quite met her eye or reached her hearing. 09 scrambled to catch up, shying from all hostility that bounced off Lina and focused on her.

The transporter pad was a round flat disk of dull metal, one inch high. Lina smiled warmly at an egg-shaped, balding technician who was the next in line, and shoed 09 up on the platform ahead of him, joining her after giving the operator her key code. 09 could only offer the indignant technician an apologetic smile before the world twisted and splintered.

When the world had reformed around them, looking quite different from what they had just left, Lina hopped off the transporter and clapped a hand to the shoulder of the young man waiting for them. He had cool, pale green eyes and surprisingly long hair, winged out around his ears. His pale skin had a bluish tint.

"Zel! Get me off this rock."

"It's a space station, Lina," he said, patiently.

"Whatever, literal-man. Just get me out of here before I start blowing things up."

09 stepped off the transporter unsteadily. That sort of travel always skewed her sense of balance. She couldn't get her bearings. Obviously, she wasn't on a dock. This was the inside of a ship, but it wasn't like anything she'd ever seen before. The light came from the walls, which were faintly transparent and crystalline rather than metallic. She laid her palm against a wall and felt a faint buzz warm her palm and creep up her arm, like a mild electric shock.

"Are we all accounted for?" Lina was asking.

"Yes. I assume so, if this is the medical android you requested."

"Yep! She's okay. Kinda skittish, but she'll do fine. We have to think of a name."

"A name?"

09 turned to them, trying to hold down her panic. "There's been some mistake. Where am I?"

Lina blinked. "Don't you know? This is my ship."

"But…but I'm assigned to the _LON_." 09 realized a hysterical edge was creeping into her voice, and swallowed. "I can't be here."

Lina raised an eyebrow. "Um…the _LON_ is my ship."

"The _LON_ is _your_ ship?" 09 parroted, eyes widening. "B-but, Lina Inverse's ship is called the _Nightmare_!"

"Nightmare_s_, actually. As in, the _Lord of Nightmares._ But, really, it's a pain in the ass to say the whole name every time, so _LON _for short."

If 09 were capable of being sick, she felt she might be.

"Sylphiel!" Lina said, suddenly, eyes alight.

09 started, and blinked. "What?"

"That's your name. It's perfect."

Nonplused and unsure of what to say, the android fell back on courtesy. "Oh. It's… nice, I suppose. But what does it mean?"

"It means you! Black hair, long. Green eyes. Tall. Sylphiel—see? Now, less chatter, more leaving." Lina spun on her heel and was out the door before anything else could be said.

Sylphiel turned helplessly to Zel, hoping for someone more reasonable. "Does it really mean all that?"

Zel shrugged. "It does to her. Would you like to see the launch? Or would you rather head straight to the medical quarters?"

"I can watch the launch?"

"It's tradition."

"I'd like to see it."

Zel nodded. "Follow me."

He led her down more glowing, narrow hallways. By the stats that Sylphiel had memorized, the _LON_ was a small ship in comparison to all her contemporaries. Despite that, the hallways seemed to turn and twist indefinitely. They were passed left and right by other crewmembers, all preparing for take off. Many of them had strangely styled, or strangely colored hair, or bright, flared modifications to their uniforms. None of them were over twenty. Sylphiel felt old and suddenly conservative by comparison. Only Zel's uniform was less flashy.

"Is this really a military ship?" she wondered, mostly to herself.

"Surprisingly enough," Zel said dryly. "Lina gets away with a lot. She's the Fleet's child protégé and practically a superstar in her own right. I think most people would be disappointed if she weren't more flamboyant than everyone else."

In the control room, however, the atmosphere was strictly business, despite the grinding modern music being blasted over the comsystem and grinning crewmembers crowding with Sylphiel and Zel on the observation deck overlooking the room, most of them belting the lyrics at the top of their lungs.

"All systems go." Navigations reported smartly, before snapping her gum. "Ready for launch."

Lina was standing in the center of the room, on a portion of the floor that was lit in the pattern of a six-pointed star, all points connected with a circle. Her eyes were closed and her head tilted back, slightly, her expression serene. The star's glow intensified, until little flickers of light slid up from the lines like rain falling upward. Lina's hair changed from red to gold, and lifted in an invisible wind. Her feet left the ground, and she floated in midair. The captain's brace flared so bright, Sylphiel had to look away.

Around them, the walls were becoming transparent, until the only thing visible was the wiring, white hot lines like veins hovering in space, the inner workings of a great beast revealed.

The space station was already behind them, still near enough that Sylphiel could only see a quarter of it. Then it stretched thin, shot away from them until it was a tiny speck, soon lost among the other stars as they also stretched into streaks of light.

The wiring flared, bright enough to blot out the stars, and the world splintered around them.

~*~


End file.
